This was Deacon Bob’s first homily after he was ordained in 2020. It is still relevant today…

I remember years ago listening to Fulton Sheen talk about the cross, and one of the points that he emphasized was the absolute necessity of the cross. He quotes from Luke a few chapters after this one we just read where Jesus says “whoever does not pick up his cross and follow me cannot, not will not, cannot be my disciple.” In fact, throughout the New Testament we see this message repeated over and over again. In Acts 14, St. Paul, tells the Christians at Antioch that we must pass through many tribulations in order to enter the kingdom of God. In Romans 8, he speaks about divine sonship; how through Christ we are children of God, and if children, then heirs, heirs of God and heirs with Christ, but, then he adds, “provided we suffer with him.”

Most of us, when we hear this message are not going to be thinking woo hoo! This is wonderful.

So, I’d like to talk about finding the joy behind our cross. After all, no one is going to be able to carry their cross unless they see the good news, the joy, that’s on the other side. Even Jesus, according to Hebrews 12, endured his cross for the sake of the joy that was set before him.

So, let’s start with the disciples. On the night of the last supper, the disciples are about to lose Jesus, who has become everything to them. This is a terrible loss for them. Yet, it’s amazing how often Jesus speaks of joy for them at the Last Supper. Listen to just a few of his words to them:

• These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full.
• You will be sorrowful, but your sorrow will turn into joy.
• You have sorrow now, but I will see you again and your hearts will rejoice, and no one will take your joy from you.

Joy, joy, joy; but, it’s on the other side of their cross. Their joy is that Jesus will be with them and in a sense will never be taken away from them again. What about us?

First of all, the cross is a good sign. If nothing else, our crosses tell us that God is working on us to bring us to heaven and that alone can be a cause for rejoicing. Thomas Aquinas once said that the worst punishment God can give to a sinner is to avoid giving that person suffering. So, if you have a cross, rejoice. You’re on the right path.

Sometimes we can find joy in offering up our crosses for the sake of those we love.About 20+ years ago, my wife, basically, fell apart. For those who don’t know, my wife, Joni, has a condition called Ehlers Danlos which means her connective tissue is very loose and she is constantly going out of joint. She’s in pain 24/7 and she is very limited in what she can do. Sometimes it’s not so bad, and other times she spends the whole day in bed because the pain is so bad. Yet, Joni is the most joyful person I know. She isn’t having fun, believe me, but when she is feeling reasonably well, she just lights right up. I remember a few years ago a couple women from the Parish visited Joni at our house and Joni was showing them something and she was so excited, the one woman turned to the other and said ‘Oh, don’t you want to just bottle her up and take her home with you.’ How is this possible? How can she still be joyful when other people are calling on Kervorkian to help them end it all? One thing is that she has come to know very deeply that Jesus loves her and that she is walking with him in her suffering and this is a great source of comfort to her. Then, there are times when she hears of someone who really needs prayers or she knows one of us in the family needs prayers and she is actually grateful that she is able to offer her suffering as a prayer for that person. She will be the first to tell you that she isn’t like the great saints who are always rejoicing in their sufferings; but, there are times when she gets a glimpse of that joy.

Some of you may be thinking, well, I love Jesus and all, but truthfully, I’m not sure I love him that much if it means carrying a cross. That’s normal to think that way; thanks to Adam and Eve. The reality is that we desire worldly pleasure more than God. The problem is not that we desire; but, that we desire too little. The problem is in our heart. We need new hearts. That’s where our crosses come in. Along with God’s grace our crosses are changing our hearts so that we will seek the things above rather than the things below.

When my wife first fell apart, I have to confess that I did not always respond so lovingly. I can remember well on Saturday mornings doing laundry and thinking – why do I have to be doing this laundry? But, gradually I began to realize that Joni’s cross was much harder for her than it was for me. I began to feel a little more compassion for Joni and was a little more willing to help her. God was working on me as well. I needed a new heart and he was changing me.

St. Teresa of Avila had developed a very deep relationship with God at a very young age. God gave her the beginnings of mystical prayer at about the age of 19. She lost it. She got caught up in the activities of her town and talking with people and fell away from prayer. She knew God loved her and yet she felt unable to love him back, and this was a torture for her. God was calling her to greatness and so she endured a heavy cross, until finally after about 20 years he gave her the grace of deep conversion and mystical prayer. She went on to become a great saint. She founded the discalced Carmelites and became the first woman doctor of the Church.

Sometimes we might think that this idea of God loving us by sending us crosses is just crazy; almost as if God is some kind of tyrant. St. Paul says that the cross is a stumbling block to the Jews and an absurdity to the gentiles. It is an absurdity from a worldly perspective; but, it all goes back to the problem with the heart. Remember where we are headed. We are made for love, for a bond of loving communion with Jesus Christ our Lord and with each other. In order to get there we need new hearts. Jesus’ cross opened the gates of heaven; our crosses get us in to heaven.

All of you have crosses. It could be physical or mental suffering. You may have a parent or a spouse who needs special care, you may have a child who needs special attention, you may be struggling financially. Sometimes our cross makes us dependent on others. That can be really tough. You may be struggling in school. You may be lonely. You may be struggling with an addiction. The list goes on and on, but, they always have the same purpose – to give us a new heart – a heart like Jesus’s heart who was able to love sacrificially. And, as a priest friend of mine once said, our crosses are custom-made. God knows what we need.  

Carrying the cross can also be tremendously inspirational to others. Hopefully people will try to help us with our crosses; but, very often, there isn’t much they can do. Day in and day out, we have to carry our crosses. When people see you remaining faithful to your call and continuing to carry your cross, they are inspired and encouraged to continue carrying their crosses. You may have thought, if only I didn’t have to deal with “x”, there’s so many good things I could be doing. And that’s true, but it may very well be that you are doing far more good for others by the witness of your life.

You see how our crosses work. First, they form us into the image of Christ. They change us. Then, as we become more like Jesus, he allows us to unite our crosses to his so we can join him in His work of redemption. We can actually have a role in bringing our children, our brothers and sisters, our friends to heaven. There we see the joy on the other side of the cross; intimacy with Jesus which ultimately leads to heaven, inspiration and encouragement for others, and in a certain sense, partnership with Jesus Christ in bringing salvation to those we love.

I’d like to read this short little prayer or reflection that speaks of how our crosses form us. They don’t know the author, but whoever it was understood how crosses can form us.

I asked God for strength, that I might achieve,

            I was made weak, that I might learn humbly to obey…

I asked God for health, that I might do great things,

            I was given infirmity, that I might do better things…

I asked God for riches, that I might be happy,

            I was given poverty, that I might be wise…

I asked God for power, that I might have the praise of men,

            I was given weakness, that I might feel the need of God…

I asked God for all things, that I might enjoy life,

            I was given life, that I might enjoy all things…

I got nothing that I asked for – but everything I had hoped for.

            Almost despite myself, my unspoken prayers were answered!

I am among all men, most richly blessed.

On Death, Where is thy sting? Here is a reflection on death that Deacon Bob gave to his Carmelite Community and thought it might be uplifting to you all in these times.

About 7 weeks ago, a friend of mine that I met while I was at St. Pius told me that the man she was living with (as brother and sister) was taken to the hospital and could I bring her and visit with him. So, we went to Anne Arundel hospital Saturday evening, and then again Sunday morning to visit with him. He was intubated but, this was before everything went crazy from the virus so it never dawned on me that he might have the virus and die. A few days later she called me to say that he tested positive for the virus, so we had to be quarantined. A few days after that, they had to remove the tube and within 10 minutes he had passed. He was the first COVID-19 death in Maryland. So, I’ve been reflecting a lot on death during these last several weeks. My son, Fr. Chris, has also been reflecting on death in light of the virus, so, I want to steal some of his thoughts and add a little of my own in coming up with this reflection on death.

From the Cross, Jesus draws out two reactions to the presence of Death in the world. The first reaction we see in the disciples: flee! Keep Death at a distance for as long as possible! As they see the Lord in such pain and suffering, they become fearful for their own lives. They do not want to face such travesty. In fear, they run so that they may live another day, even if that means living a superficial existence. Peter, even after the resurrection goes back to his old life of fishing. In the face of Death, the first reaction is flight.

The second reaction to the presence of Death in the world is seen in Jesus’ enemies. They are, in a sense, more courageous; they follow Christ to His death. But they see death as something to fight. Those who mock Jesus shout out: “He saved others; he cannot save himself. Let him come down from the cross now, and we will believe in him.” Jesus, dying on the Cross, seems foolish. If He is God, He should prove Himself to be the more powerful superhero that can overcome the villain, Death, by his superior strength. These do not succumb to distractions, but try to defeat the enemy death.

Do we not see Jesus drawing out these two reactions from us during this pandemic? How many of us oscillate between the two? When we become aware of the good things that the coronavirus is taking from us, we try to distract ourselves from the reality of this suffering. We simply want to continue living as though nothing happened. Or we just seek to comfort ourselves until this nuisance passes. “Once Death stops attacking,” we think, “I’ll be able to go back to my normal life.” We, like the disciples, want to keep the Cross at a distance.

Likewise, how many of us tensely examine the news, wondering how we will defeat this? We want to be in control and we’re determined we’re going to beat this thing. Like Christ’s enemies, we look at Jesus hanging on the Cross and say, “Get down, you fool! If you are God, don’t die; rather, save yourself and us!” We want someone who will overcome the power of Death by superior force.

Naturally, neither of these reactions is entirely off-base. We should be finding good sources of comfort during this time. And likewise, we should be striving to find a cure to this disease. But we must ask ourselves, in the face of Death, what is the reaction that Christ offer us? As He lives His Paschal Mystery within us during this time, what victory over Death does He offer?

As Jesus approaches the Cross, He neither flees nor exerts His power. Rather, He gives Himself up in love to the Father for us. Death is our great enemy. The letter to the Hebrews says that it is through the fear of death that we live in lifelong bondage. We’re not free because we have this fear that seems to hang over everything. What does Jesus do? He embraces his death as an act of love for his Father and us. He turns suffering into sacrifice. Death had no power over him because he offered it to His Father and then came back to life again.

During this pandemic, we can learn from the early Church martyrs. Obviously, due to their circumstances, they could not receive the Eucharist. They could not unite themselves sacramentally to the Lord’s Paschal Mystery. And yet they found that their lives were becoming “eucharistified.” What takes place sacramentally on the altar was taking place in their very flesh as their bodies were offered up in love to the Father. They were, in a sense, being transformed into the Body of Christ. St. Polycarp, for example, as he was being burnt on the pyre, glowed as a loaf of bread glows in the oven. The flames around him fanned out like an oven and the onlookers smelled a fragrance of baked bread. In his martyrdom, the early Church saw Christ’s power to transform the suffering of His chosen ones into a sacrifice.

I was just listening to an interview of Dan Burke and his experience with the virus. Hopefully you know of him. He is big in the Catholic world. He was the president of EWTN News until a few months ago when he had to resign due to his declining health. In any case, he got the virus and he should have died because his lungs have been declining and he has other health issues; but, through lots of prayers he survived and he was sharing his experience. First he mentioned how a few years ago he had to have serious heart surgery, and he was excited going in because he had a list of people he wanted to pray for. So, he went in to the surgery excited to offer up the suffering and prayer for people. But, his experience with the virus wasn’t like that. He went in to the ER and was quickly taken into ICU where he was intubated and it ended up lasting for 3 days. The whole time he was either watching EWTN, especially Mass and adoration, or he was praying intercessory prayer for others or for the organizations that he had started. But, he didn’t have that same feeling of joy like he did with the heart surgery. The whole time he felt surrounded by a deep darkness. He is convinced that there is a spiritual element to this virus. But, even in the darkness, he was offering his suffering to God. He was turning his suffering into sacrifice, and there was no fear. Death had no power over him. Whatever God wanted, he would accept.

As we look at the suffering caused by the coronavirus, Christ invites us to see His crucified Body as He suffocates in his members. He invites us to see His loneliness on the Cross in those who are separated from loved ones. To the extent that we react to the presence of Death, neither with flight nor with clenched fists, but with the love of God, we allow Christ to transform us into His Body.

God is offering us the ability to fill this time of difficulty with His love. May we not waste this opportunity. Eventually, someday, maybe, our lives will get back to normal. But we don’t know how long it will be, so until then, let us embrace today as it is. Let us offer each day as an act of love to God, and in so doing, let us become the body of Christ in our world.

God bless you all.