Several years ago I was at a party and I was talking with a friend of mine and we were sharing what was going on with our kids, and at one point I said, you know we’re really blessed with our kids, and he said yes, but, it doesn’t just happen, it takes a lot of work to raise kids that are a blessing.

Today is the Feast of the Holy Family. Families are a tremendous blessing. Our son Logan is up from Texas and to see him and Eric laughing the other day is an incredible joy. Or, Joni was telling me how Fr. Chris came over and the 3 boys were having a great Catholic nerdy conversation. These moments are great blessings and they really give us a tiny foretaste of heaven. Our earthly family prepares us for eternal life where we will live forever with our heavenly family.

There are 3 thoughts that I believe God put on my heart about family life that I’d like to talk about today.

First is the importance of the love between the father and mother.  I remember years ago speaking with the wife of one of Joni’s cousins; they had recently gotten married and she was saying that whenever they go back to Pittsburgh to spend a couple of days with his parents, he sleeps better. When a child sees the love between mom and dad, there’s a security there that is irreplaceable.  

Second is how important it is that we are active in our child’s life. I have to confess that this one is on my heart because it’s where I struggle the most with guilt. We parents have more influence to form our child than anyone else in the world, and we don’t have to do anything to get that influence it’s just there – it’s God-given if you will. I used to tell young couples in baptism prep class that I went through 12 years of CCD and I’m sure there were times when we read Bible stories in class; but, I don’t remember them. But, I do remember occasionally when my mom and dad would get us kids together in the family room and we would read Bible stories. I’m sure the CCD teachers were all great; but there’s a relationship between parents and kids that makes a much great impression. It’s just the way it is.

In the old days, it was almost automatic that parents would be active with their children because they spent lots of time together. If you had a farm, the kids worked the farm with their parents, so the parents were forming them without even thinking about it. Or, in the case of Jesus, as a young boy he would have worked in his father’s shop with his dad. When I was a boy, I had a picture next to my bed of the boy Jesus in the carpenter shop with his dad. I loved that picture. We’ve lost that.

When my kids were younger, take your child to work day was a big deal. So, one year I took Logan to work with me, and then Eric the next year. Let’s just say it didn’t work so well. I was mostly on the computer or on the phone and I tried to give them something to do; but it just didn’t work. The one thing they liked was the free soda. You go to the coke machine and press a button and out dropped a free soda. They loved that.

But today we have to consciously make an effort to be active in our kid’s life and it can be really hard. Many of you are doing a fantastic job with homeschooling or other activities with the kids and it’s great. I admire you, I commend you and encourage you to keep it up; you will be blessed. But, if there’s a little voice in your conscience speaking to you right now, first, go and speak with someone and make sure the voice is from God; but, if it is, I strongly encourage you to find a way.  Find some way to be active with your child. Right now I’m doing my best to make up for some shortfall when my kids were younger. I’m not going to go into details; but we all know it’s way better to do things right and well when the kids are younger than to try to make up for losses later.  

The 3^rd point is the importance of fathers in handing on the faith to children. You know how when it comes to things religious, it seems that women have it all over us. I remember many years ago when Joni and I were part of a small group here, the couples would meet twice a month and then for a short period, the guys decided that we needed more so we started meeting the intervening weeks. I remember one time, one of the guys just threw out the question so how many of you think your wife is holier than you? It took us about a tenth of a second before we all had our hands in the air.

And there are many examples I could give. St. Teresa of Avila said that in her experience, deep prayer was far more common in women than in men.

But, there’s at least one area that it seems God has ordained for fathers, and that is handing on the faith to the children. There was a large Swiss study in the year 2000 and I’m just going to cite a few numbers to highlight the role of fathers.

• On the one extreme, if the mother is a regular churchgoer and the father is non-practicing, 2% of the children grow up to become regular churchgoers, and 60% stop practicing. 
• Moving up, both mother and father are regular churchgoers, 33% of the children become regular churchgoers and only 25% stop practicing; the rest are in between.
• Moving up still further, the father is a regular churchgoer and the mother is non-practicing, 44% of the children become regular churchgoers and something less than 25% stop practicing.

In other words, if dads take faith in God seriously, then the children will take faith in God seriously. This is not to discourage moms, but to encourage dads.

So dads, you don’t have to be theologians; you don’t have to have all the answers to the questions your kids have about religion. You don’t even have to be active at church, you just need to take God seriously. If He’s important to you, He’ll be important to your kids; if He’s not important to you, He will not be important to your kids. It’s just that simple. When I see this I can’t help but think of a hymn in the Breviary – Rise up O Men of God, Have Done with Lesser Things!

Lastly, I want to speak a word to all of you whose kids are grown and like me you feel like you’ve fallen short and are dealing with guilt. First of all, it’s not always on us. Joni takes great comfort thinking about God. He had Adam and Eve and look what happened to them. But if we have fallen short, the great thing about our faith is that we have such a good reason for hope, so I’m going to end with a story of hope.

There was a 19^th century Italian guy named Bartolo Longo. He was not a good guy. He was a very smart atheist, became a Satanic Priest and his mission in the Satanic church was to go to the universities and get as many of the young people to renounce the faith as possible, and he was good at it. But, he had a mother who prayed lots of rosaries for him and one day, the Blessed Mother appeared to Bartolo, and said you don’t deserve any help but because your mother has prayed a lot for you, I give to you the grace of conversion. With that he had a complete change, began working for God’s kingdom, even set up a town dedicated to Our Blessed Mother. He is now Blessed Bartolo Longo. There is always great hope with God.

As we prepare to receive Jesus in communion, let us rejoice and thank Him for the blessing of family, and even with falling short, let us thank Him for His love and mercy which is always a source of great hope for us. God bless you all.