For the past three weeks I gazed upon one of the most beautiful sites I’ve ever witnessed. I watched love magnified in a way that illuminated the selfless sacrifice of Christ’s crucifixion and death, but today, in real-time. I can and have meditated on the Sorrowful Mysteries of the Rosary, imaging how, what, and why the Lord’s gift of Redemption came to be through the suffering He endured. I can ponder in my soul, that He loved us unto death. But now I’ve seen with my own eyes love being poured out in sacrifice for one so dearly loved. It’s a beautiful thing, this dying to ourselves and loving as He love us. It is beautiful, but not at all pretty.

My mother-in-love recently had an accident from which she’d never recover. Well, not as we think of recovery. The beauty of her life well-lived started 84 years ago in Brooklyn, NY. Gail and her husband, Bob, of 63 years created with their love, and grace from God, an incredible family. I was fortunate to marry into this treasure almost 37 years ago. My life was profoundly changed – and absolutely for the better! Don’t get me wrong, the Seiths aren’t perfect, to which all of us Seiths can attest. I do think though, as the vocation of family and marriage is supposed to do, this family has and will continue to lead each other closer to God. Sometimes it’s by the sheer joy of being together for a vacation, holiday or family meal. Many times, by forcing us onto our knees in prayer when a family crisis arises. But Bob and Gail’s family’s journey towards heaven is usually in the simple daily living in the presence of God. Bob and Gail raised their 6 children in their Catholic Christian home not just in occasional words or attending Sunday Mass, but every day, in every moment God came first. It wasn’t an issue.

Gail and Bob came from a time when classic roles of husbands and wives, and mothers and fathers were respected and lived. Bob was the head of the household, but Gail kept the household running. She had meals on the table, clothes cleaned and folded, and the kid’s and her husband’s needs met. Was it done with perfect submission and enjoyment? Nope! Her sass never prevented her though from being the wife and mother many hoped for because she loved her family. Gail was loved and adored by Bob, and she knew it. (And visa-versa.) It was my Father-in-love’s biggest fear that he’d go first and not be able to take care of his beloved wife, who literally was the girl next-door. Now, thanks be to God, that fear can be put to rest because God heard the prayers of a righteous man and took Gail to Himself first. Was it easy to see how God answered Bob’s prayers? Nope!!! What it looked like on the surface was a whirlwind of suffering and pain. But what the process resembled deeper down was, and still is, a masterpiece of selfless love.

When the accident happened, the kids immediately stepped into action figuring out all the necessary arrangement so that they all could provide love, prayers, and support not only to their mom, but also to dad, and each other. The siblings and their spouses were in continuous communication with group texts, the likes I’ve never seen. When it became obvious that Gail’s situation was grave, Bob and the kids planned a meeting, first with their resident Moral Theologian Priest, who happened to be Gail’s and Bob’s grandson, and then a virtual meeting where the family could ask questions, and then plan how to give mom the best care and dad the best support. A unanimous decision was reached that it would be best to bring mom home.

Because it was important to the youngest Seith sibling, Andrea, that her mom be at her wedding, the fiancés decided to forgo their original plans for a storybook wedding in the Fall and step into action. With the help of Fr. Chris, and through the grace of God, we celebrated the marriage of Andrea and Matt within 48 hours after the thought crossed their minds. There’d be no grand wedding every bride imagines. There’d be no huge reception to celebrate with their myriads of friends. And there’d be no picture-perfect nuptials in the Baltimore Cathedral. Instead, as Gail lay dying in her makeshift hospital/family room, Bob, together with Matt’s parents and sisters, and the Seith siblings and wives, we witnessed and celebrated self-giving love, as Matt and Andrea became husband and wife. It was beautiful! What shone, other than the intense love of these two for each other, was the love and unity that God deigned for families to live in. Dropping everything, including their own desires and plans, both sides of the family came together in familial love to make this wedding not only happen, but more importantly, it became what weddings and marriages should be – a beautiful expression of true love which surpasses understanding.

And there was joy, which I’m guessing surprised more than just me. Seeing Bob escorting the stunning bride down the hallway and giving her over to her eagerly awaiting and tear-filled groom, we were blinded from the pain of loss and entered a place of joy. Gail’s and Bob’s hand intertwined as were Andrea’s and Matt’s. And Gail, opening her eyes as each said their vows, and again when they were pronounced man and wife, told us that she though frail was too, joyfully present.

After the nuptials, each resumed their rotations of duties for almost two more remarkable weeks. The girls gently bathed, caressed, and cared for their mom much like she did when they were helpless babes in her arms. Words of love and comfort were unceasingly whispered to her. And new bonds of love and friendship emerged where pain and suffering laid. Through these selfless acts of sacrifice and love a masterpiece emerged. A family whose heart was centered in the Lord’s beats even stronger as this mother’s prayer for her family’s continued unity was answered.

Laying Gail to rest was also heart-wrenchingly painful, yet beautiful. Her large family knows their loss but realizes her gain. In the suffering of mom’s absence, we rejoice, because we know she is with the Lord.